Reading Between the Texts: This Is Not Working
The Texts
K: “What’s going on? I still haven’t heard back from you.”
Him: “I’m sorry, I just don’t think this is a good time for me”
The Analysis
R: Well that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over.
K: How?
R: I don’t know, maybe he means this exact time isn’t good because he’s like, working on a project. But in 2 hours he’ll be like, “this is a perfect time.”
K: Working on a…on a “project,” that’s for sure!!!
R: Wait, what do you mean?
K: I don’t even know.
R: Do you even WANT to be with someone so awful?
K: Yes!!!!!!!!!
R: Well. OK, that’s fair. But I just think you should remember that he is the most evil person who has ever lived, and he is only interested in himself, and also in serving the devil.
K: He has such good cheekbones, though.
R: Fuck his cheekbones! I hope his stupid sharp and distinguished-looking cheekbones fall off his head and slice open his feet!
K: Yeah! All he ever uses his feet for is TRAMPLING ON PEOPLE’S HEARTS, anyway.
R: Why are you getting under the table? Where are you going?
K: I can’t deal with chairs anymore. Just leave me under here forever.
R: I’ll go get the Chips Ahoy and some milk.
K: Just bring the whole jug. What even is the point of “cups.”
From The Hairpin. This is a bit close to the bone right now :( And yeah, he really did have stunning cheekbones.